Some Time & School Tidbits

Well, I've been quite far "out of the loop" (the "active blogger" loop that is) for quite awhile. Haven't had much time, and really wasn't getting enough sleep to care. The kids are all (obviously) older now, my wife & I are "tag-team" teaching, and (amazingly) I do have a bit more time on my hands since school started!

As I thought about it, am fairly certain this is the only time since I first boarded a school bus (with my multiple cow-licks slicked down and my lunch box clutched in my grubby little hand) that I've been able to say "more time since school started." Pretty amazing actually. I'm sure someone just might be thinking, "How on earth could he possibly remember every year so far back into ancient history? He's over 40; surely he must be exaggerating." (Thank you, BTW for relegating me from "cool" and "young" to "fogy," but I was hoping no one would notice for another 10-30 years.) While I do not have a photographic memory, there still is quite a bit in this old belfry that's not so thickly "coated with cobwebs" that it can't be brushed off and drug out into the light of day...

For example, remembering back to a small USAF base in central Illinois, there was a messy little boy that was quite enthused about starting school… but that only lasted about 2 weeks. Once I realized school was not a place to learn about all the "cool stuff" in the world, but was actually just a place to coop up a bunch of rambunctious little kids all day, and that all of us were only allowed to learn as slowly as the least motivated student in the class, then I wasn't all that interested in school anymore.

I did want so badly to learn to read... yet Miss Fry would only teach us one letter each day! (FWIW, I thought it was funny that "Miss Fry" became "Mrs. Brown" later that year.) When we weren't practicing our measly one letter, the rest of the time we had to "color." At least we had our big boxes of 64 Crayolas with the pencil sharpener on the back, but I knew my 3-year old sister was doing the same thing at home... so the "fun factor" was totally not there. Coloring at school was completely boring.

There wouldn't have been anything at all to look forward to at school if it hadn't been for my best friend (& neighbor) Tori and the cute little red-haired girl that rode the bus with us. Every day I'd look forward to holding her hand as we walked all the way through the "big kids' end" of "bright-eyed, bushy-tailed, Pleasant Acres" Elementary to where the Kindergarten classes were on the far end... and then repeating the process after school to get back on the bus. (Neither one of us cared that the big kids thought we were "so cute.") Can still remember the daily disappointment of leaving my two best friends at the door of the "other K-5" class before trudging across the hall to my slave-driving teacher and then trying to sit still… for those never-ending hours… every day… bored, and completely unmotivated to color. (It got worse after the little red-haired girl moved away part way through kindergarten. One of the greatest travesties of my lack of education in K-5: they hadn't taught us to read… so I couldn't get her address to write to her!)

When first grades' Mrs. Dupree showed us how to put all those single letters together to make words… and I was finally able to read on my own I was SO excited! Of course, from then on I was still in trouble quite often, but rather than being scolded for talking to my neighbors, I was sent to the principal's office for reading my books… for "not following along" with all the slow kids (never mind that I would read every textbook from cover to cover in the first 3 weeks of every school year). Needless to say, school remained pretty boring, but at least with a few books secreted in my backpack I knew there would be something interesting to do in school each day.

Suffice it to say, as I'm teaching now I try very hard to exclude dull, "busy work" from my classes, include as many interesting things as can be crammed into each class, and still pay attention to which ever student(s) may be love-struck over their little neighbor. It is too bad I don't need to test them on all the interesting stuff, they seem to remember it much better than the things we're required to teach them.

Anyway, about that extra time I've found: the baby (who's now 2, has decided she's too big to soil her diaper, and and has been speaking in complete sentences for several months now) needs to be put down for a nap every day after lunch. Since my wife is teaching English during nap time & my classes are over by then, I get to come home and hang out for a few hours. Have lesson plans and quite a few projects around the house that still need to be completed (as well as mounds of laundry to fold… but what man in his right mind wants to fold laundry?), but several of those projects can be done quietly, so I'm not planning to be blogging daily, but still have high hopes for the life of "ye olde blog" this school year.

Imprecatory Incitement

Today I saw Pastor Steven Anderson from Phoenix, Arizona says he is praying for Obama's death.

My first thought was that's sick, but it's still pretty funny. Not funny in the sense that he wants someone dead, but that a "spiritual leader" would be so immature as to voice this opinion in an attempt to get media attention.

Here we have a pastor that has not learned to pray properly. Luke 18 is pretty clear on which person (the Pharisee or the publican) had the better prayer. Christ said the Pharisee that prayed in the middle of the temple (and was condescending of others and their sinful lifestyles) was not "justified" and He went on to say that "every one that exalteth himself shall be abased."

Biblically, I don't have a problem with the man's prayer; only in his application and publication. In looking for Biblical examples of prayer, most people got to Psalm 23 and the Lord's prayer, but never examine those examples closely, or even look at the Imprecatory Psalms (specifically, Psalm 58 and 109) which clearly are prayers of cursing against those that oppress God's people, or are extremely sinful (this President does fit those qualifications).

Just before what is called "The Lord's Prayer" we find these verses on how to pray:Mat 6:1-6

    Take heed that ye do not your alms before men, to be seen of them: otherwise ye have no reward of your Father which is in heaven.
    Therefore when thou doest thine alms, do not sound a trumpet before thee, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may have glory of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.
    But when thou doest alms, let not thy left hand know what thy right hand doeth:
    That thine alms may be in secret: and thy Father which seeth in secret himself shall reward thee openly.
    And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.
    But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.

That's about as clear as you can get on the publication and application sides of prayer. Moving further to the Lord's Prayer we find how we should pray:Mat 6:9-13

    After this manner therefore pray ye: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name.
    Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven.
    Give us this day our daily bread.
    And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.
    And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen.

I'm sure you're wondering why -- from these verses -- that I have no problem with the prayer against the President's life. It's from the second verse (v. 10b), "Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven."

Obviously, praying that God's will be done is Biblical. Furthermore, nowhere in the Bible does God approve of the killing of innocent children or those that condone those actions. By simply allowing pro-abortion agendas to proceed unhindered, the President can be said to be obstructing the will of God. So I don't see any problem with the man praying against Obama; I do see a problem with shouting it from the housetops -- not Biblical.

Also, I do NOT approve of reciprocity in the form of murder -- that is equally wrong. That is a battle best left to God (Rom 12:19b "...for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord").

David (in 1 Samuel 24:6) put it best when he said, "The LORD forbid that I should ... stretch forth mine hand against ... the anointed of the LORD."

Additionally, if one is going to pray an imprecatory prayer against the President for his stance on abortion, then to be perfectly just, that prayer must extend to all of the others that promote the same pro-abortion position. Many Congressmen, judges, and activists hold the same opinion and are furthering that agenda far more than the President.

Finally, just praying for the death of the President is futile. If his death were to happen (for any reason), there is a prescribed line of succession that would place other individuals with equally bad (or worse) ethics into the same office. All of those people should also be prayed for... that their hearts and minds are changed.

So, if you really feel like you need to increase your prayer life, here is that (most uninspiring) list of succession to the Presidency of the United States--

Veep:	Joe Biden
Spkr of the House:	Nancy Pelosi
Pres Pro Temp of the Senate:	Robert Byrd
Sec State:	Hillary Clinton
Sec Treas:	Tim Geithner
Sec Def:	Robert Gates
AG:	Eric Holder
Sec Interior:	Ken Salazar
Sec Ag:	Tom Vilsack
Sec Commerce:	Gary Locke
Sec Labor:	Hilda Solis
Sec Health & Human Svcs:	Kathleen Sebelius
Sec HUD:	Shaun Donovan
Sec Transportation:	Ray LaHood
Sec Energy:	Stephen Chu
Sec Ed:	Arne Duncan
Sec VA:	Eric Shinseki
Sec Homeland Security:	Janet Napolitano

[EDIT: Not really sure why the table dropped so far down from the rest of the post; there isn't any whitespace in the code.]

Working On....... Life

In addition to my "normal" everyday work (I do realize that my version of "normal" -- isn't), I've been doing some reading and extensive research in the last few days. (See my personal blog for a better explanation; check my FaceBook links or drop me an email if you've lost the link to it -- I removed the direct link from this blog.)

Am tentatively planning to be finished redoing my (moved) personal blog and getting this slightly redesigned one up to the level of activity I want within the next one or two weeks (that's at the very earliest, if everything comes together nicely). I think one month is a more realistic estimate tho. (Perhaps two months, if one of the offline projects I'm looking at materializes, but if more than one happens, well, don't hold your breath, because I won't.)

Poll Comments: Blog Reading

I finally updated the code behind the blog and found all the cool stuff; it's still pretty easy to update. Adding new widget-type stuff is easier, and I like the ease of spatial-editing too.

One of the cool things is the polling capability. I'm sure there isn't any danger of me rivaling Zogby, but I wasn't particularly sure just how I wanted to start it. I gave it some time and came up with this one:

"What do you look for in an "interesting" blog?
---------------------------------------------
Blogs about the lives of my friends or family.
Opinions with which I generally agree.
Opinions about which I can debate.
Finding "pointers," shortcuts, tips, and ideas that educate, or make my life easier.
Cutting edge technical information.
The latest fashion info, trends, and celebrity gossip.
Hobby- and craft-specific info.
I just love to surf from blog to blog reading about other people's lives.
Other: (comment here -- on this post)

The only two problems I have with the ability to poll readers are the inability to add comments to each poll, and the inability to put in a poll as a blog posting (that could be accessible for vote-casting indefinitely). Other than that, I like it.

A Day of Infamy

"For the first time in my life, I am truly ashamed of my country."
This was the first thought that crossed my mind as I happened to turn on the television last night (just in time to hear McCain's concession speech live). I rarely watch election returns; I prefer to spend the time with my family (and get the full story when all the results are tallied).

In explaining my position, I think it's imperative I first relate the things about our nation that do not cause shame:

I am not ashamed that we elected a black American; that isn't relevant to being a President. (FWIW, I did vote for Alan Keyes in a past election, but I feel the color of someone's skin doesn't determine how well they can, or cannot do any task.)

I am not ashamed that we elected the first illegitimate President in the history of the U.S.A.; disappointed for his personal loss, but that too is not relevant to being the President. (It is, however, a good example for others.)

I am not ashamed that we elected a Democrat; we've done that before.

I am not ashamed that we elected a liberal; of the Presidential candidates running this year, I knew whomever won the election would be hard-pressed to label themselves "conservative."

I am not ashamed that we did not elect a fiscal conservative; it's been a long time since we've seen one of those in the White House.

I am not ashamed that we elected a pro-abortion candidate to the Presidency; disappointed yes, but we've seen this done this before.

I am not ashamed that we just elected the most inexperienced President in the history of our great nation; again, disappointed, but someone must hold that dubious distinction.

In fact, I am not even ashamed that the President-elect cut his political teeth in the Chicago arena of thug-politics-at-its-worst; disappointed yes, but we've had thug-politician Presidents in the past.

So what, you may wonder is so shameful that I would make this statement?

There are a number of minor reasons; I'll relate two of those before the crux of my statement.

First, I'm ashamed so many voters focused on a candidate's personal polish & appearance, reading ability, and continuous recitation of platitudes (all shallow extraneous traits) to the exclusion of personal experience, full disclosure of all aspects of personal history & character, and values.

Secondly, I'm ashamed that a US Senator could go to Africa (at U.S. tax-payers' expense), campaign for a Communist Muslim (wanna-be dictator) in support of sharia law (one that incited riots and instructed his supporters commit murder when he lost), and not be required to answer for his actions. Not as a Senator, not when he became a Presidential candidate, not as President Elect, and even highly unlikely he will ever be held accountable for his actions as President.

Both of these minor reasons don't surprise me as much as I would think they should. Bill Clinton's appearance on the national political scene was Obama's "polish precedent" and guide. As for the "corruption precedent," it is rampant at the highest level of government in every nation I've studied.

What I'm primarily ashamed of is the fact that for the very first time in the history of the U.S.A. a majority of the voting public has eagerly embraced a radical, activist communist.* The United States of America experienced a meteoric rise to greatness -- becoming the greatest nation on earth -- in less than two hundred years via support of capitalism -- rejecting communism. Yes, we have had Presidents in the past that embraced both socialistic and communistic ideals, but none so blatant as our coming President.

I have no hopes that the next four years will strengthen our nation in any lasting economic or political manner (one possible exception is faith - Americans have historically turned closest to God in times of crisis). I can only hope that for the next four years Obama remains so focused on reelection that he steers the course of liberal Democrat, or at least no further than moderate (perhaps even survivable) socialism. Whatever the course, I pray it isn't so radical it crashes our economy, corrupts our citizens, dismantles our morality, shackles the freedoms enjoyed by our churches, or harms our nation in an irreparable manner.

**NOTE: I realize some would attempt to take me to task on the variance of "socialism" and "communism" as they relate to Obama. However, the beliefs I've heard outlined by the now President-elect barely skirt the edge of Socialism even when tempered by his pseudo-moderate public image. Therefore, I've elected to call this spade a spade.

Early Voting, Vote Prep, & Another Oddity

Every year there seems to be a bigger hype about early voting than the previous year. I think voting is one of the most important things one can do as a citizen, but I don't early vote, nor do I like early voting. If it were up to me, I would abolish early voting and instead have two days of voting (Monday and Tuesday), a longer lead time to send out absentee ballots (for those overseas - domestic voters would have no change), and theater-wide electronic voting (for our overseas troops) that could be electronically beamed back to the U.S.A. on election day.

There are several reasons I dislike early voting as it now is: the long lines are key, also, the fact that some item may be revealed about a candidate in the last few days (thus, negating support for a candidate by a voter) is another. This is not to say I would not vote early; if there were any chance of me missing an opportunity to vote on election day, I would probably vote early rather than fill out an absentee ballot.

One of the main reasons I don't early vote is due to the fact that few of the voter guides I read are completed prior to election day. Which means, unless I want to do all of the research on all of the candidates myself, I'm voting in ignorance. This year, in particular, voting in ignorance could have been bad.

In the past I have voted by issues first, and then, if there weren't any issues of interest to me, I would vote for whatever Independent or Republican I liked the most. (Typically, Democrats in south Florida are left-wing Liberals, Tree Huggers, or Socialists, none of which appeals to me. Also, most of the Republicans and Independents promote conservative or libertarian values, both of which appeal to me.)

One of the local races I can vote in this year has proved to be an exception. There are three people running, none are Libertarians or Republicans. The incumbent is a liberal Democrat -- I haven't voted for her since I moved to south Florida (14 years ago). One of the two challengers is an avowed, hard-line Socialist; people with those political leanings disgust me, so I'll definitely not be voting for him. The other challenger is listed as an "Independent." I initially thought she was a Libertarian, but her endorsements seemed a bit odd. After further investigation, I realized she is a hard-line, far left, socialistic environmentalist! Two Socialists and one liberal Democrat in one race!

As you can probably guess, I'll be voting for the liberal Democrat. This particular race brought to mind a passage of scripture:
Jeremiah 12:7-11 "I have forsaken mine house, I have left mine heritage; I have given the dearly beloved of my soul into the hand of her enemies. Mine heritage is unto me as a lion in the forest; it crieth out against me: therefore have I hated it. Mine heritage is unto me as a speckled bird, the birds round about are against her; come ye, assemble all the beasts of the field, come to devour. Many pastors have destroyed my vineyard, they have trodden my portion under foot, they have made my pleasant portion a desolate wilderness. They have made it desolate, and being desolate it mourneth unto me; the whole land is made desolate, because no man layeth it to heart."

In closing, I talked to an individual last week that had an interesting, albeit jaundiced, view of politics in the U.S.A. It was this individual's contention that for those who are Believers voting is:
1. irrelevant (because "God's Will" will be done anyway),
2. unnecessary (because it is "of the government"), and
3. sinful (because we really shouldn't be involved in any part of government).

I disagreed. Voting is a right afforded to all citizens of this country. If I, as a citizen of this country, choose not to exercise a right, then that is my privilege. If however, I, as a citizen of heaven choose not to exercise a right that could enable me to have a positive influence on my community, or have a Godly testimony to others in my community, or could improve my ability to witness to those around me (by not allowing those into office who seek to curtail my rights as a Believer), then I am committing sins of omission, negligence, apathy, and irresponsibility. I really hope my explanation didn't offend that individual, but I was extremely disappointed by the naiveté of that opinion.

My first REQUESTED book review

I received a copy of Off the DEEP END: The Probably Insane Idea That I Could Swim My Way Through a Midlife Crisis -- and Qualify for the Olympics by W. Hodding Carter on Thursday just before last month ended. It just so happened that the months of February and March (and now April, too) have been some of the busiest weeks I've lived -- my Pastor of 12 years has died (he's been at this church 34 years, but I've only been here the last 12). It fell to me and another guy in the church to keep all the pieces together and make sure nothing was "broken" before our new pastor was voted in. (The church ran fine before, and I realize the probability of me "ruining it" falls between "slim" and "none," but it was still of great concern to me. We did call a new Pastor to step in on Sunday evening, March 30th.) I knew I needed to read this book and review it (that IS, after all, the reason they SENT it to ME), but I wasn't sure when I'd have the time. Late Friday night (March 29th) I decided to see how the first chapter started.

Picking up Off the DEEP END turned out to have been a bad idea (since I still had a lot of work to do that weekend). The first chapter started a bit slowly, but by the time I'd reached the end, then read the title of the second chapter ("Saggy Old-Man Butt"), I was hooked. It was all I could do to put the book down when I finished the second chapter. In fact, all day Saturday (as I was attempting to finish up my work) all I could think about was finishing Carter's story. Late Saturday night (when I should have been getting ready for bed) I picked up his book once again -- and couldn't put it down until I'd finished it.

I find that I can identify quite well with the author: I'm passing my mid-thirties, but (even though they aren't very large) I haven't enjoyed discovering I'm now growing "love bumps" (which I'm told turn into "love handles" very quickly), that I've had to start purchasing my pants 1 to 2 inches larger in the waist (depending on the brand of course -- I could still squeeze into a 31" waist, but I wouldn't do it on the way to an all-you-can-eat-buffet), and that my lack of endurance is getting worse. It seems life, wife, children, and my own lack of commitment tend to erect numerous hurdles and hindrances to my desire of getting back into shape.

Of course, "my" sport was never swimming (I do love the water though), it was cross-country jogging -- and I was never anywhere near world-class competition levels (I was happy when I wasn't running J.V.), but more often I'm noticing lingering thoughts creeping around in the back of my mind: if I would just commit to the effort... my body would respond to the challenge.

Off the DEEP END offered some reassurance that I'm really not crazy, it renewed my hope in myself, and has instilled a fresh desire to quit sitting around wishing I was in better shape and make time to do it.

I know footnotes and parenthetical statements annoy some people to no end, but that is exactly the way I think (and... in case you missed it... the way I write), so I enjoyed Carter's style of writing immensely. The only thing I didn't like about the book was its length: I found myself wanting to know more -- and to be able to follow his monthly progress (or even weekly).

I was initially disappointed that the last chapter wasn't included -- actually, the very first disappointment was finding a card STAPLED TO THE FRONT COVER!! They defaced a book! But now that I've removed the staple, I've come to the point of looking forward to seeing what else is included when this finally goes to press.

Immured in Green

I realize this post is a week late, but if I wait until next year, it will probably be a week late then as well, so... three hundred fifty-eight days early... here's my 2009 St. Patrick's day post:

Every year I'm asked why (since I'm so "religious") I never seem to wear green on St. Patrick's Day. It's not that I attempt to be "religious" I just try to live "right" -- and of course, just like everyone else, I succeed on some days and fail on others. On St. Patrick's day I actually make every attempt to avoid green -- on every part of my wardrobe (I don't check the tags of my clothing or the toes of my socks, just the visible portions of it).

Even in junior high and high school I insisted on running the risk of resisting the green trend -- granted, it was very small risk, but risk nonetheless. (For some reason, jr. high boys like to punch and the girls like to pinch any non-greenies they can find.) I was constantly explaining that both Catholics and Protestants celebrate St. Patrick's Day, the Catholics wear green, and the Protestants wear orange. Although I'm a small part Irish, I'm NOT Catholic, never have been, never will be, and I shouldn't be punched or pinched for wearing orange. Then I'd get the inevitable, "Prove it," which was rather simple if the person had ever seen an Irish flag.

The Irish flag consists of 3 vertical stripes, green at the pole, orange at the opposite end, and white between them. Green signifying the Catholics, Orange the Protestants, and White signifying the Peace that should be between them -- their shared "Irish-ness" unifying even opposing religious views.

In recent years, I not only refrain from wearing green, but orange as well -- the change was brought about by studying history. I'm a Baptist, and Baptist history is a very different, separate "tree" than Catholocism and Protestantism.

The "dark ages" lasted a little over 1,000 years -- different people observe differing events to "mark" the beginning and end, but the approximate dates are 450 AD to 1600 AD (if you allow +/-75 years to/from each end you'll avoid much contention). Protestanism had earlier champions that attempted to reform the church to line up with the Bible, but didn't officially "start" until Luther broke away in the early 1500s. The Lutherans were followed by the Church of England, Presbyterians, Congregationalists, Methodists, and many other denominations that now claim to be Protestant.

There were "Baptist" churches prior to Luther (as early as the 1400s) and prior to being called "Baptists" these churches were called "Ana-Baptists" or Anabaptists. There were persecuted churches throughout the entire dark ages that were called Ana-Baptist and Baptist, but sometimes they were called by other names as well. A few of those other churches holding to "Baptistic" or "Anabaptistic" beliefs were the Montanists, Novations, Paterins, Donatists, Paterins Cathari, Paulicians, Arnoldists, Henricians, Albigenses, and Waldenses. Generally, these all believed in rebaptizing any new converts coming from churches holding heretical views of the Bible. Wittenburg wrote in 1607, "Our modern Anabaptist are the same as the Donitists of old. They took no account of the baptism of others ..." To the best of my knowledge there were churches referred to as Anabaptist as early as the late 200s (predating Catholicism's Constantine).

I said all that to say, as a Baptist, I would be remiss in wearing green and associating myself with the Catholics that have over the centuries killed many thousands that believe the Bible as I do. I could wear orange, as many different Protestants of today hold beliefs similar to my own and the general public cannot differentiate between a Protestant and a Baptist. However, in the early days of Protestantism, many of those denominations held beliefs widely divergent from Baptists, and some went so far as to persecute Baptists.

No matter how similar my beliefs are to those of others of today, I know I'm truly a conservative Baptist (of the independent and fundamental variety), and have views that are separate from Catholicism and Protestantism. So, as a personal preference, I've decided to eschew both green and orange on St. Patrick's day. I now wear maroon, or (if I don't have any clean maroon shirts) red. Maroon and red are close to orange (as many of my beliefs are close to mainline Protestants), but are obviously different. And if someone asks, I can point to my red article of clothing and explain God's exclusive requirement of Christ's blood sacrifice to remit any and all sin, the importance of accepting this sacrifice, and how, as a Baptist, it's my belief that each convert should be baptized after salvation.

Explaining the green/orange observance of St. Patrick's day hasn't yet enabled me to lead anyone up to (or through) the Bible verses that promise 100% certainty of salvation (and eternal residence in heaven), but maybe the next observance of St. Patrick's day will change that.

Time changes all...

I keep pictures in my head of how everyone I know "used to" look. When I talk on the phone with my friends, or read their emails, I can still "see" them in my mind -- looking just as they did back when I first met them.

Even though seeing current pictures of my friends is sometimes a surprise, the longer I'm on it, the greater my realization is of how much I enjoy Facebook. I like seeing the pictures of others better than the pictures of myself -- although seeing the receding hairlines and extra grey hairs on others reminds me of my own. As much as it can be annoying to always be posing for pictures, I do like looking at them. It's especially interesting to me seeing my friends from my college days -- how time has changed most a little, some drastically, and yet a few don't look any different. It also seems like the friends I would expect to have just a few children have many. Even though it's been 5 years since their last one, it still occasionally amazes my that my "little" sister has SIX children... and the Rossiters have SEVEN!! EIGHT for the Scilex's!!! and the Sarlos are just flat-out impressive!!!!

Our three (soon to be four) are a handful, but I love crawling around on the floor with them... tickling them until they can't talk... hugging them when they get their "boo boos"... getting unexpected (usually slobbery) kisses just for being "Daddy" and getting to explain all of their questions about the world around them.

Little Bear is just 5, but his questions and observations amaze me... often. Especially when I'm driving down the road, listening to him talk (the boy can out-talk even my mother, and for those of you who've met her, you KNOW that is saying something) and he stops mid-sentence to interject how the car we just passed looks like someone's we know... yet we last saw them almost a year ago! It floors me how much individuality can be observed in 4 and 5 year olds. He asks questions of how I was as a boy (thankfully, the cobwebs aren't too thick yet, and I can still remember), and what did his "Papa" do with me when I was little. And then pictures of my parents (that are still way back in the corners of my mind) come back out to the forefront of my memory, and I understand a little better the sacrifices that they made for us... and my admiration for them grows... more... again.

Last weekend, out of curiosity, I Googled a friend. His name is fairly unique... when I finally spelled it correctly, he was the only one in the world that came up. So I called him up to see how life had gone for him so far. And he told me just a tiny fraction of the problems his only son is having... multiple operations to save his son's life have caused other complications that now threaten that life. He told me how difficult it is to see his wife constantly in a state of emotional distress, and how, as glad as he was to hear from me... he had to get back in the hospital, in case it was the last few minutes he'd have with the son that shares his name... and is only 8 months old.

That was when the sights, sounds, smells, the mind-numbing waiting rooms, the intensive care units, and all of our own experiences with our first child... also a son... came back to my mind. I remember being exactly where my friend is now: my wife and I spent every free waking moment in the hospital... listening to doctors tell us our son probably wouldn't live much longer... and how he needed this surgery, or that new piece of equipment, or some other change that would give him a few more days... maybe.

The few hours a night I'd allow myself for sleep were spent scouring the internet and devouring medical books... learning everything about his problems, any possible techniques and medications that could be used to treat current and even possible complications... so when the doctors discussed his condition, I would not only be able to understand every word, I would also understand the implications of every decision that could keep him alive. It was against hospital policy, but I asked how every piece of equipment worked... even the complex ventilators, so if anything happened when the nurses, doctors, or respiratory therapists were all at other children's bedsides, I would know what to do. And a few times, we were all glad that I knew what to do. My wife and I watched every nurse, insisting on specific ones to be assigned the care of our son, insisting others be removed from the unit.

Then when we finally saw "the light at the end of the tunnel" and the lung problems were finally healing, and the drugs were being weaned from his system we faced another staggering blow. We'd also been watching other parents for months -- many taking home healthy babies, some taking home handicapped babies, and others that left preparing for a funeral. We thought it was almost all over for us... with a happy ending to boot, and then the MRI results indicated his brain was "mushy." They said it appeared to be dissolving, and if he lived through that, he would probably be a "mental vegetable." After a few more days of waiting, he still wasn't responding like he should have been if he was 100% "normal," but it hadn't gotten worse. We continued to cling to our hope, and our faith was rewarded. He eventually improved to normal; it was just a much slower process than what anyone expected it to take.

We finally brought him home after spending his first 4 months in the hospital. He still had equipment connected to him -- there was even still a large chance he could die at home -- but the doctors, nurses, and respiratory therapists had been observing us while we observed them. THEY recommended we take him home... that we care for him. They said it was their belief that we could give him the same (and possibly better) level of care that he was receiving in the hospital, and that the environment would be much better for him. So, home we all went, and gladly.

He had good days and bad ones at home; we took a few trips back to the hospital... one in an ambulance with lights flashing, siren blaring, and the EMT "bagging" our son, but somehow God saw fit to bring our son through it all ("bagging" is hand-pumping oxygen into him). Little Bear has proven all of the doctor's worst predictions wrong. But... he has been the exception to almost every case... and when we bring him back to visit the NICU, the medical staff gathers around to see the "miracle boy" -- they all say (even the atheistic ones), "He is proof that prayer works!" One of the two doctors that delivered Little Bear is also a Believer, and constantly checks up on the little ones he's assisted in bringing into the world. Whenever the NICU doctors get discouraged, or give up hope, he reminds them of Little Bear, and that anything is possible.

In light of all those memories, the months of anguish, of attempting to comfort my wife in the bad times, and then years of uncertainty that finally resulted in a good continuation of "our story"... I heard in my friend's voice the same feelings of helplessness that I felt back at the beginning of the whole process.

I know that I can tell him "anything is possible" from the standpoint of being there... even down to the possibility of a "mushy" brain healing. But I remember being there and listening to the harsh, cold delivery of an impossibly difficult diagnosis... and back then I didn't want to hear those words, even from someone that had experienced them... I didn't want to get my hopes up -- only to see him die like some of the other children had. I didn't want to be like other parents that brought home a little baby -- a little baby that they knew would become a big baby, because his brain was incapable of ever developing further.

No, I wanted to KNOW he would be fine, I wanted proof... and ironclad guarantees, but I know that wasn't possible, just as I knew it then. Just as I knew I'd have to take whatever God had planned for his life... live with it... and like it.

And so I hesitate to call my friend... hesitate to ride that awful roller coaster of emotions... and yet I want to check in with him hourly... because I KNOW there is a one-in-a-million chance... and I want to know his son will be that one, just as mine was. I still want an ironclad guarantee... and it's not even our son. I wish I could see the future... five years from now... will his outcome be wrestling on the floor, with tickles and slobbery kisses? Will he be pointing to the world around him and explaining it to his miracle boy? That's what I want... what I'm praying for.

And while I'm looking 5 years in the future, I want to be able to peek over and see if we've done OK training our own children. I'd like to see they've removed the "rough edges" we're trying to teach them to lose. I'd like to see them following God better than I did at their age... making new friends that are, and will remain assets to their lives. See them doing right, even when it's hard. And I know I can't see that, yet. But I can still take my mental pictures of today, and smile when my wife wants "real" ones. And as our hair gets more grey in it, we can look back at what was... and remember all the good times we had.

"Restless" Ramblings

Well I've located everything I couldn't find, and just about figured out everything I need to know to keep track of church funds. It's actually not much work, and pretty easy. That was quite a relief.

An even bigger relief was the email I received this evening from our "almost full-time associate pastor" that lives an hour & a half drive away from here: he WILL be here, and preaching for EVERY SERVICE except next Sunday night (the 17th) for the rest of the month!!!

I would have jumped for joy on reading this email, but I discovered it after waking at "oh-dark-twenty." Which means it's the middle of the night, and I should've been in bed sleeping hours ago. However, sometime around 11.30pm, when I finished updating the Parents of Multiples website, I dozed off in front of the computer. This has happened a few times before... actually... I should probably say: this isn't a rare occurrence... ah... well... I think my wife would roll her eyes at that one too. She would probably say: it happens quite often. (So it's a very good thing I've got an extremely patient wife.)

Between studying for messages (which I know I really don't deliver very well, but I still enjoy them), updating the Parents of Multiples website (which I also enjoy, even though I think the site's inherited look and layout are antiquated and in need of a comprehensive face-lift), attempting to keep up with email (impossible), and all the time I enjoy wasting on FaceBook, I tend to fall asleep at the computer much more than I should.

I've attempted to make it very difficult for myself, but I think I'm just too good of a sleeper. If my eyes close, I have about 3 to 5 seconds to get them open, or I'm out. This is a skill I was born with, but it was well-honed as a security guard in college. College also improved my skill of sleeping through almost anything.

Prior to college, nothing woke me unless someone entered my room (somehow my sleeping brain could tell the difference when the dog wandered in and out). When someone did walk in my room, I'd immediately sit up in bed; by the time I was sitting up, I'd be almost fully awake and quite coherent (although I did tend to forget whatever anyone would tell me). Unfortunately for me, that skill is no longer mine. Perhaps too many years of needing naps during the day (to work 4-8 hours every night or 2) took my edge off. Although, I'd almost be willing to put money on the main reason I lost this skill being the large number of times I would sit up from a sound sleep and slam my forehead into the hard metal rail that supported the bunk above mine. (For some odd reason, my roommates always thought that was extremely funny.)

Of necessity, my reflexes eventually toned down to the point that I wouldn't wake up unless someone sat on my bed, but that too passed. Several of my roommates enjoyed seeing my forehead slam that bar so much, that they'd invite guys in from other rooms just to get them to sit on my bed.

My body coped by not waking unless physically disturbed (being physically touched, hit by spit wads, flatulence by my head, etc.). That too passed: many weeks I would work well over 40 hours per week, and desperately needed much more sleep than I could get. (Ah, you may say, there was a limit of hours you could work for the college and still be enrolled full time. But there was a loophole, and I discovered it. I didn't realize how many hours I was working back then, but while culling tax records last summer, I discovered old pay stubs. Security, maintenance, and the computer lab all submitted my hours, and I received separate checks that, had they been totaled together, would have shown my "low weeks" totaled 40 hours. I found a few weeks totaling over 80 hours.)

Needless to say, by the time college was over, I'd gotten to the point that I'm still at now -- for me to wake up, I need to be continuously shaken very hard (30 - 120 seconds), or keep a very loud alarm clock across the room (because I can turn it off in my sleep), or hear a phone ring. I'm not sure how the phone ring wasn't discovered by my ever-resourceful roommates, but I'm glad it wasn't. It's nice to have one "normal" thing that wakes me up.

Which brings me back to my current situation. Although I like a comfortable chair, I know having one is not conducive to keeping me awake, so I replaced it with a round, backless stool on 5 wheels. It rolls very well, so I usually can't sleep long (30 minutes to an hour) before I fall to the floor. I've discovered my sleeping carcass moves very little and has decent balance, so on occasion, I have been known to last most of the night on the rolling stool.

Tonight, thankfully, I did not. The problem tonight was the way in which I dozed off cut off the blood flow to both arms, both legs, and my derrière. So when I began typing this letter I could only move 2 fingers on my left hand (ring and pinky) -- every other appendage (beside my head) was a nearly lifeless club. I've now regained most of the use of the rest of my limbs, and will be trundling off to bed shortly... as soon as I figure out what labels I should put on this post. Too bad it's almost time to get up; at least I know I'll be asleep within a few seconds of my head hitting the pillow...

My "Pew" Version of Reality

Was catching up on the news last night (generally read my news by skimming the Yahoo feeds) and found the Pew Internet & American Life Project. Lots of neat articles, survey results, and quizzes to take there. (Like I really needed more things on which to waste my time.)

The one that first caught my attention was the Internet Typology Test to tell you "where you fit in the new typology of information and communication technology."

In every quiz, I find there are always questions I could answer several ways, depending on the mood I'm in, so I took the test 3 times and answered each time based on each of my "normal" moods. It seems that I fall into 3 of the 10 categories. Normally, I'm a "Lackluster Veteran," with forays into "Connector," and "Omnivore" on a fairly regular basis.

Not surprising, since I've yet to take any tests that put me squarely into any single category. Usually, I seem to exhibit some major traits of several categories, and never exhibit other major traits of those same categories.
I've often wondered, does that mean I'm well-balanced? or just weird?

I've been sourced!!!

Suppose it was bound to happen... someday, but I have officially been "sourced."

Here in south Florida, our county (Broward) has ~10% of it's surface area covered in water: canals, creeks, ponds, lakes, and other inland waterways. Our firemen pull cars with bodies in them out of the water every year -- mostly people that panicked -- and didn't survive their panic. Also every year, our local media outlets (radio, TV, and newspapers) dutifully run stories of how to survive water crashes.

A friend from college (that now works as a writer at the world-famous, AIG) was concerned about water crashes, so the other day I quickly compiled everything I could remember of the myriad segments and interviews I've seen, heard, & read then shot it off in a 10 point email. Evidently, it wasn't too dreadful, because it's now posted -- verbatim. Which is pretty neat -- even if it's "only" sourced on a blog and I was only going from memory -- it's a start. Had I considered the possibility of it being posted, it would have contained "official" sources -- and I would've paid attention to how well it was written. Incidentally, my favorite "saga" on her blog (so far) -- that of "Superphone" -- has been alternately amusing, entertaining, & downright hilarious.

Anyway, it's made me think about starting to write those books I've been putting off... although, I realize that's a long drawn out process that could take 6 months to a year to get ironed out. Or perhaps starting on that music CD that people at church have been requesting... that should only take 4 to 6 months to get all the copyright and production problems squared away. Maybe I could just start on that idea for a political blog I've been throwing around. I know it would only take a few minutes to start... although, the ongoing research and postings that should be done to keep it current and viable would last until the next election in November... almost a year.

Hmmmmmmm.

Definitely have too many irons I want to put in the limited little fire that is my life -- and not quite enough time and effort to properly handle them all simultaneously. Think I'd rather just go wrap Christmas presents for the "Varmints 3" and worry about my goals, aspirations, and ambitions later.


The older I get...
the better I understand my Dad.

My Prayer

As a rule, I'm not the most poetic of souls. I like some poetry, I read some poetry, and I even write some poetry (generally for my wife), but don't usually go out of my way for it. That said, I found a really great poem that I thought was worth repeating here:

My Prayer
=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Let me not die before I've done for Thee
My earthly work, whatever it may be;
Call me not hence with mission unfulfilled;
Let me not leave my space of ground untilled!
Impress this truth upon me--that not one
Can do my portion that I leave undone;
For each one in Thy vineyard hath a spot
To labor on for life, and weary not.
Then give me strength all faithfully to toil;
Converting barren earth to fruitful soil.
I long to be an instrument of thine,
To gather worshipers unto thy shrine;
To be the means, one human soul to save
From the dark terrors of a hopeless grave.
Yet most I want a spirit of content
To work where'er thou'lt wish my labor spent,
Whether at home or in a stranger clime,
In days of joy, or sorrow's sterner time.
I want a spirit passive, to lie still,
And by Thy power, to do Thy holy will.
And when the prayer unto my lips doth rise,
"Before a new home doth my soul surprise,
Let me accomplish some great work for Thee."
Subdue it, Lord! let my petition be,
"O! make me useful in this world of Thine,
In ways according to thy will, not mine."
Let me not leave my space of ground untilled:
Call me not hence with mission unfulfilled;
Let me not die before I've done for Thee
My earthly work, whatever it may be.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=
from the PRIMITIVE CHURCH (OR BAPTIST) MAGAZINE. June 1, 1864, p. 136

I couldn't find any info on who wrote it, only that it was published in the periodical mentioned above.