Found a blog with a warped sense of history that appeals to me. The title is The History Bluff and their funny Thanksgiving post is the Top 10 Things the Pilgrims Were Thankful For.
I liked most of them, but felt inspired to write my own. Here's my list of
The Top Twelve Things for which I would be thankful if I were a Pilgrim:
12. Grandma wouldn't insist on everyone watching the entire Macy's parade, as well as the pre- and post-show commentary with her. (No offense intended if you enjoy it; I always wanted to read my book without getting scolded during the talking heads, marching Shriners, and juggling clowns.)
11. No Black Friday sales' rush (we had sales 2 weeks ago that were better than the sales I saw today).
10. No television show, "Survivor" on which to compete. (It would be too easy anyway; they lived the real deal.)
9. No Simon Cowell (or hundreds of non-singers abusing my National Anthem).
8. The number of participants in the new world's first talent show would be no longer than the Mayflower's Passenger list.
7. Wouldn't have to prepare a corresponding all-vegetarian menu.
6. The side dishes of giblets, as well as fish-eye soup, were down on the Indian's end of the table.
5. Ties optional for the men; hose optional for the women.
4. After dinner folk elegies performed by the famous country trio: Cotton, Stills, & Mather.
3. Wouldn't have to watch William Bradford clog -- on "Prancing with the Puritans."
2. There wouldn't be any question about whether the Mormons or Jehovah's Witnesses were going to come knocking and interrupt dinner.
1. Everyone thought it was "normal" to ask God to bless the food they were about to eat and thank Him for their abundant blessings.
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