Wednesday, January 12, 2011

People. Explained.

This evening I was "profile surfing" on FaceBook. I don't know if anyone else does this, but I rather enjoy it. "Profile surfing" consists of randomly selecting one friend in your friend list, clicking on them, then when their page opens, clicking on one of their friends (that you do not know) for whatever reason (an interesting name, a nice profile picture, the 3rd friend from the top of the friend list, etc.). Profile surfing is most fun when you can read something about the random people that you find. Tonight, I hit on an interesting page. In the "bio" part of the person's "Info" I found the following allegory:

The differences between men and women are kind of like the differences between dogs and cats:

Cats do what they want.
They rarely listen to you.
They're totally unpredictable.
When they want your attention, they get it; even if they have to put themself in the middle of what you're doing,
or claw your leg.
Cats value appearances (especially their own).
Sometimes they like to be pet, brushed, and held;
sometimes, they don't want to be touched.
They expect you to cater to their every whim,
they are often moody,
they may hiss, scratch, bite, or just ignore you when they are unhappy, and
they leave hair all over the place.
When you want to play, they want to be alone.
When you want to be alone, they want to play.

Actually, cats are just tiny women in little fur coats.

Dogs also do what they want.
They can hear food being opened on the other side of the house, but they don't hear some things in the same room.
When they want your attention, they get it; even if they have to sit on you, lick you, or wet on your leg.
Dogs value "fun" things to do.
They like to spend all day sprawled in the most comfortable piece of furniture in the house.
They love combining "fun" things:
Sprawling in a comfortable piece of furniture is better with the addition of food.
Sprawling in a comfortable piece of furniture, watching (or sniffing) fun things, with food, and other friends around -- is even better still.
Dogs can look dumb and loveable -- all at the same time.
They growl and show their teeth when they are not happy.
They love to be pet, scratched, and played with.
They are almost always happy to see you,
they love to greet special people by jumping on them
(some special people get wet, sloppy kisses too), and
they leave their toys everywhere.
When you want to play, they want to play.
When you want to be alone, they want to play.

Actually, dogs are just tiny men in little fur coats.

So, for you ladies out there, be sure you "pet" your man's ego frequently, and be more willing to play. He'll be loyal to you forever.

For the men, work on your appearance, be mindful of your lady's feelings (don't maul her every day either), and listen to her closely. She may not mention she likes it, but she'll notice. She may even throw you a bone. ;)

1 comment:

The Lady of the Holler said...

Welcome back to the blogosphere :o)